What Are You Doing

For the past few weeks the sermons at church really hit home. I know I can walk into church carrying the weight of the week and leaving in peace. The sermon series have been about the cross, the power of the cross, and what the cross really means. He has been discussing if you are really giving God your life. If you are living like you should. I started thinking back and really trying to figure out when I lived my life "right". When I gave all of my "problems" to God.

I can remember being in high school and every morning waking up early to read my bible. I would spend the summer really reading it for fun. I went to church every Sunday and to Youth Group. I was truly walking right. When I went on my Mission's Trip my Senior year I learned a lot about myself. I knew then my calling was teaching. I pretty much had my mind set that I HAD to become a teacher.

So fast forward 6 years later to my first year teaching in a Public School. Man it is very different then what I was used too. It is one of the most difficult things that I've faced. The kids and their stories are why I teach. Most of my students come from a low income family, broken homes, and parents that are or have been in jail or rehab.

I want each child that walks into my class to know that they are loved no matter what happens. Every morning I greet each student with a hug and tell them they are going to have a great day. When they leave I give them a hug and say "No matter what you do I still love you". I can't count how many times I tell David the horror stories about kids hoarding food, or telling me about the police or parole officers.

I love to tell the stories about how much they grew. I love this time of the year because I see how much they grew academically. I get so excited because when they first walked into Kindergarten they knew 5 letters, no sounds, could only count to 10, didn't recognize any numbers and now they know all of their letters and sounds, can count to 100, and is reading on a level 4 (which is on grade level). I love to get pictures and I Love You notes or hugs for no reason. I love to see them smile when I let them know how proud they make me. I don't know how to describe the feeling...it's amazing!!

So I got to thinking okay...I am using my "gift" but is there more? Am I doing everything I can? No...I don't get up early to read my bible or do I volunteer my time for anything. I want to be a positive influence on David and Hayden.

So I am slowly giving over the "power" and trying to stop the thinking and the what ifs and let "HIM'" handle it all. It makes things so much easier. I can breath and the weight is gone.

Here is song that totally describes everything. My mom got me this CD for Christmas and I still listen to it every day.