Happiness

Happiness what defines it? As I went through the last week I started to have doubts and fears. Fears about the future and fears about Hayden. The week went by in a flash and I felt like I didn't get anything done or spend quality time with Hayden. As I picture our future with the baby I often think about Hayden. Am I trying to fulfill my own wants and happiness without thinking about him. Will having another child cause a bond that we have to be broken? Will he think I love him less? Will he not have a connection with his sibling? I keep telling myself that Hayden will bounce back fine and that yes, it might effect him when the baby is first born because it will need constant care. I am pretty much convince that my hormones has me thinking like this. I know the future is going to be difficult but so worth it. I know that we will make memories to last a life time. As Hayden and I made cupcakes to celebrate his birthday at school it I realized that it would be the last time Hayden will have a birthday as an only child. Hayden is so excited about turning four which makes me happy. He loves the fact that he will be older. We are taking Hayden to Chuck E. Cheese tomorrow. I am planning on posting when we get back. Tomorrow will be so bittersweet. So I think I am going to end with know that my happiness is what you make of moments and time. I am truly happy with all the changes that will occur in the next year or so and can't wait to experience them.