Roller Coaster

Wow, I can't believe that the end is less then 5 days away. I haven't been over emotionally this pregnancy but last weekend I was. I cried over everything. I had have mix emotions about everything. I am a planer and like lists and details and not knowing how Hayden will feel and how we all will feel after Monday is overwhelming. I want to prepare Hayden and myself for how things are going to be but I honestly don't know how it will be. We spent as much family time together and I cried because I knew things weren't ever going to be the same. When talking over dinner Hayden said mom can take care of the baby and daddy can take care of me. I just about lost it. How can he think that I won't take care of him, he is still MY baby? I have loved every minute with Hayden and seeing him grow up. He sure makes me a proud mamma. He truly has a heart as big as the world, if I hurt myself he kisses it and he asks if I want to snuggle with him. He loves to give me kisses and is a great helper...he likes to bring in the groceries and make lemonade. He loves for me to read to him and then will read the same book to me. He is my first born, he truly made me love in a different way. I can't imagine life without him. David asked me what I loved about being a mom and my two favorite things were listening to his foot steps throughout the house first thing in the morning and watching him grow up. On Saturday morning, I love how he comes in and gets in bed with me and says good morning mom, and then gives me a hug and a kiss. How things will change...change for the good. I can't wait to meet our little guy and all the planning and preparing, finally has come. I am excited to be a family of four instead of three. Yes, I know things are changing but only for the better.